Jane and Jip Chong The Mighty Avril Adventures
by jslurpie19
Summary: Currently known as Becoming: Avril Lavigne Jane a stupid prep gets punk'd along with Avril Lavigne.
1. Becoming

Becoming- Avril Lavigne Spoof  
  
Characters Avril Lavigne Wannabe-Jane/Prep Announcer Jip Chong-Friend of Wannabe Hair Stylist- Jaime Skater Instructor- 108 Mugger- Constipated kid Jonny Bang- Friend of the Real Avril Lavigne  
  
  
  
Scene- Jane's Room  
  
Announcer- This week on Becoming-  
  
Jip Chong bursts into Jane's room  
  
Jip Chong- Jane! You're becoming Avril Lavigne!  
  
Jane- Oh my god! Oh my god!  
  
Starts jumping on bed screaming shaking her hands at her mouth  
  
Jip Chong joins her in jumping on the bed  
  
Scene- Jip Chong sitting down alone talking to the camera about Jane while she is being taught how to skateboard  
  
Jip Chong- I have been Jane's friend since we were little baby's crawling.  
  
Jip Chong grabs tissue and wipes his eyes  
  
Jip Chong- I'm just so pround for her.  
  
Jip Chong starts to cry into the tissue  
  
Jane in the far corner falls off her skateboard  
  
Jip Chong looks back at the commotion  
  
Jane- I really can skate like Avril Lavigne!  
  
Jip Chong- Good job Jane!  
  
Jip Chong wipes his eyes again and starts to cry  
  
Jip Chong- I taught her well.  
  
Jip Chong starts to cry uncontrolable as the hair stylist comes from behind and sits down beside him and gives him a hug  
  
Scene- Skating Instructor talking to the camera  
  
Skating Instuctor- Hi, my name is 108 and I will be her skating instructor for the becoming Avril Lavigne video.  
  
Scene- 108 Teaching Jane to skate  
  
108- Just push off and steer down the hill. Can you do that?  
  
Jane- Okie Dokie! Wish me luck!  
  
Jane pushes off a little too hard while looking back at 108 waving she runs into the back off a parked car  
  
Jane- I'm okay!  
  
Scene- 108 Talking to the Camera  
  
108- How well she can skate?  
  
Looks down at the ground thinking really hard  
  
108- Does effort count?  
  
Scene- Jane walks up to a store  
  
Jaime- Hi! I'm Jaime your hair stylist for today!  
  
Jaime hugs Jane  
  
Jaime- Are you having fun so far?  
  
Jane- Oh my god! You would not like believe!  
  
Jaime- Okay, well let's go get your hair done so you can really be Avril Lavigne!  
  
Jaime and Jane jump up and down together  
  
Scene- Inside fixing Jane's hair  
  
Jaime- Not the first thing were going to do is brush it.  
  
Jaime grabs a brush and starts to brush  
  
Jaime- Oh you have really nice hair.  
  
Jane- Thank you.  
  
Jaime pulls the brush away from her hair to examine it and sees mounds of hair intwined in it  
  
Jaime shows the camera the nasty brush and hides it before Jane notices  
  
Scene- Later  
  
Jaime hold the chair hiding Jane's face  
  
Jaime- And now, I present to you.........  
  
Jaime turns around the chair  
  
Jaime- The new Avril Lavigne!  
  
Jane's face is totally messed up make up everywhere she looks like a drag queen  
  
Scene- Jane walks into the room and finds a paper clip and a video  
  
Jane runs over to the tape  
  
Jane- Ohmigosh! A real tape!  
  
Jip Chong- And a paper clip!  
  
Jip Chong and Jane start to jump up and down  
  
Jip Chong- Let's watch it.  
  
Jane grabs the paper clip and tries to put it into the VCR  
  
Jip Chong- No silly! The tape!  
  
Jane- Oh.  
  
Jane grabs the tape and puts it in  
  
Scene- Tape of Jonny Bang  
  
Jonny Bang- Hey guys! What's up! Hope you're having a fun time being Avril Lavigne! I've known Avril Lavigne for days, and one thing that I noticed was, that she always wears ties. So if you want to become the best AL, wear some ties and lots of em. Peace!  
  
Tape turns off  
  
Scene- Jane and Jip Chong stare at the tape  
  
Jane- Ties.  
  
Jip Chong- Lots of ties.  
  
Scene- Jane getting ready to shoot the video  
  
Announcer- And now the world premiere of- Jane become Avril Lavigne.  
  
Jane walking singing (life's like this?) (guess that's the way it is.) Gross out! Whatcha yelling for? Sit down it's happened all before But you still would never ever learn That's what you earn You don't like to eat veggies Not at all, every day that week Now you're talking to me what you've done But you've become Somebody else Unlike everyone else You're trying to crap But you can't relax You're trying to stool You look like a fool to me (tell me) Why dya have to go and make you so constipated? I see the way you're pushing And you're pushing And you're pushing and you're so frustrated (life's like this? You) You moan And you groan And you-  
  
Mugger comes up from behind and grabs one of Jane's many ties wrapped around her neck and pulls her down  
  
Mugger- You fake!  
  
Mugger kicks her and turns around  
  
Mugger- Why did you have to go make things so constipated?  
  
Mugger runs off screen  
  
Fades to end 


	2. Punk'd Chap 1

"Punk'd"  
  
Written By: Me Who else? Unless you're copyrighting my shit!  
  
Characters:  
  
Avril Lavigne Wannabe-Jane/Prep Announcer Jip Chong-Friend of Wannabe Ashton Kutcher Al Shearer Dax Sheppard Ryan Pinkston  
  
Announcer: Today on Punk'd-  
  
[Scene- Avril's Dressing Room.]  
  
(Jane opens the door and sees Avril and Dax kissing. Dax pushes Avril off of him)  
  
Dax: Oh Avril! You bad girl!  
  
(Jane emits in tears)  
  
Jane: Avril how could you!  
  
Announcer: Ooh! That's bad.  
  
[Scene: Ashton's Hideout/Closeup White and Black scene thingy]  
  
Aston: Okay so here's the deal: as you all know, Jane McCormick is biggest damn Avril Lavigne fan on the planet. You may of seen her on Becoming when she remade the "Complicated" video- so we decided-hey! Little starts need some Punkin' too! So we sent "Jane" out to Los Angeles to a free concert with backstage passes and all that good stuff to Avril's concert and told her that Avril Lavigne hand picked her to hang out with her and her only in the "Pick Me: Avril Lavigne Contest". But- what she doesn't know is- in fact Avril hates the damn girl and burns every letter that she sends to her.  
  
Sound Guy: And your point is?  
  
Ashton: Hold a damn second and let me get there! Fuck, Sound Guy you ruined my mojo, now we're going to have to start all over again!  
  
Director: I think we can salvage what we have.  
  
Ashton: You just shut up! The jist of it is- we're going to Punk the hell out of both of them! Avril doesn't know the damn girl is coming but out of the preppy/poser heart of hers she decides to let the girl stay. Then, shit starts happening but we don't want to give that away. Right?  
  
Director: Right.  
  
Ashton: RIGHT!  
  
[Scene: Avril Lavigne's Dressing Room]  
  
(Avril Lavine is sitting down watching Crossroads and wearing an Abercrombie t-shirt singing "Hit Me Baby One More Time". A nock is heard on the door.)  
  
Avril: Hold on!  
  
(Avril jumps up to turn off the tv and stereo while trowing on a arm tee shirt with a tie hooked on simultaneously. She bangs her knee on the table.)  
  
Avril: Oh my gosh! I'm so gonna get a bruise! *Gasp* Will it make my ankles look fat?!  
  
(Another loud knock is heard. Avril opens the door. Dax comes in.)  
  
Avril: Who the hell are you?!  
  
Dax: I'm your next manager. Did- didn't they tell you?  
  
Avril: No they didn't. What happened to Josh Preporan?  
  
Dax: He went to a Snoop Dog concert and was eventually revolted by your face and/or your music and fake propagandic style.  
  
Avril: Oh. Well-  
  
(Jane and Jip Chong run through the door jumping on Avril Lavinge)  
  
Jane: Oh my gosh! It's really you!  
  
Jip Chong: I can't believe I get to hum- touch you!  
  
Avril: Get the fuck off me!  
  
Jane: I have been waiting so long to see you!  
  
Dax: Oh yes! The contest winners!  
  
(Dax pulls Jane And Jip Chong off of Avril.)  
  
Avril: Them?! Oh hell no!  
  
Dax: They won your "Pick Me: Avril Lavigne Contest"!  
  
Jane: I can't believe you hand picked me!  
  
Avril: You're that son of a bitch that's been stalking me!  
  
Jane: You remember me!  
  
(Avril scratches her. Jane looks hurt.)  
  
Jane: Avril! I can't believe you just scratched me!  
  
Dax: Okay that's enough-  
  
Jane: Jip! Avril Lavigne just scratched me!  
  
(Jip Chong and Jane start to jump up and down)  
  
[Scene- Dax in the black/white scene thingy]  
  
Dax: Okay, even I hate them now. And that's a whole lotta hatin' to get me to hate. I'm a anti-hater. Dumbasses.  
  
[Scene- Avril's Dressing Room]  
  
(Dax and Avril are sitting on the couch talking)  
  
Avril: They're not staying here.  
  
Dax: Avril they have no where to go!  
  
Avril: I don't care, I want them gone!  
  
Dax: We can't send them back until after your concert.  
  
Avril: Why?  
  
Dax: Because their plane doesn't leave until the next day.  
  
Avril: Oh you gotta be shitting me!  
  
Dax: Avril- Avril honey, we don't have money to be throwing around. Either you send them back with your own money or you just let them stay here. (Avril Looks over disgusted) What's it gonna be? Loose a thousand or break even?  
  
Avril: What tickets did they get? The damn pilot seats?  
  
[Scene- Sound Check]  
  
(Avril is on the stage singing loosing grip. Jane and Jip Chong are sitting in the front seats singing along.)  
  
Jip Chong: Avril is so great!  
  
Jane: Her voice is so beutiful!  
  
Jip Chong: No, that's not her real voice. They forbid her from singing live in concert.  
  
Jane: Why?  
  
Jip Chong: Something about the janitors complaining about the tomato clean up after concerts.  
  
Jane: Oh.  
  
(Suddenly the music stops. Dax runs up the side stage to Avril.)  
  
Bob: Fuck you Avril! Whoo!  
  
(Bob busts the window in the back and jumps out running out of the front doors.)  
  
Avril: What the hell?!  
  
Dax: Avril. we uh have a problem.  
  
Avril: What now?  
  
Dax: Bob the sound guy, has quit.  
  
Avril: Again?!  
  
Dax: Good Charlotte this time.  
  
Avril: What are we going to do the concert is tomorrow.  
  
(Jane runs up.)  
  
Jane: I can help! I can help!  
  
Avril: How about you just sit your little fake ass down!  
  
Bob: Fuck you! You damn hipocrite!  
  
Jane: Jip and I know all your songs. And we can work the best CD player easy!  
  
Avril: This isn't a CD player alright, it's a big ass machine.  
  
Jane: Big ass machines are our specialty!  
  
Dax: How much?  
  
Jane: No money! Just maybe a date for my friend Jip Chong.  
  
Avril: Forget this tell them the show's cancled!  
  
(Avril walks of the stage. Dax goes after her.)  
  
Dax: Avril! Avril!  
  
Announcer: Coming up, Avril tries to cope-  
  
[Scene- Avril's Dressing Room]  
  
(Avril comes in. Jip Chong is dressed in some of her clothes.)  
  
Jip Chong: Don't I look gorgeous!  
  
Announcer: All next on Punk'd.  
  
This is just the beginning! I saw that some people like my work so I decided to make a little more. I'll be adding another chapter soon, but they'll probally come on my small Anti-Avril site first. You can have your little two cents said good or bad and check it out. 


	3. Hard Knocks Cafe

Sorry if I haven't updated in a while, I've been busy with moving, I'll try to get back on track.  
  
The Mighty Jane and Jip Chang Adventures: Punk'd Part 2  
  
[Scene- Avril's Dressing Room]  
  
(The room is darkly lit by some small candles around her. Avril is bunbled into a cover only her eyes are exposed while she is wearing a beanie. She's holding up a camera and making a documentary.)  
  
Avril: Day 2. Jane is completely pissing me off. I want to knock the shit out of her but- (CRASH. Loud laughing erupts) she might try to hug me. I don't know what I should do! It's only a couple of days right?  
  
(Jane opens the door letting in huge amounts of light. Avril drops the camera)  
  
Jane: There you are! Come on and play dress up!  
  
Avril: Leave me alone!  
  
(Jane grabs Avril by the arm and starts to pull her out)  
  
Jane: It'll be fun! You can be me and I can be you-  
  
[Scene- Hard Rock Cafe]  
  
(Dax is talking into one of the hidden punk'd cameras)  
  
Dax: Avril has just arrived at the Hard Rock along with Jip and Jane. Ooh! I like that! How it just rolls off the tounge- try it- Jip and Jane. Today, while Avril is having a interview with Entertainment tonight- well you'll see.  
  
[Con't- Outside Hard Rock Cafe]  
  
(Avril steps outside of a limo alone. She poses for the camera.)  
  
Photographer: Avril! I heard you were holding a Korean boy and his lesbian like American friend hostage is that true?!  
  
Avril: No, another roumor, another roumor.  
  
Photographer: Avril! Is it true that you watched Crossroads and is in both the Christina and Britney fan clubs?  
  
Avril: I'm punk rock! I hate people who try to hide themselves.  
  
Photographer: Avril! Are you a hyprocrite?  
  
(Avril glares at the man and walks inside)  
  
[Con't- Inside Hard Rock]  
  
(Dax walks over to Avril.)  
  
Dax: Avril baby! Glad you made it! Enterainment Weekly wants to see you.  
  
(Dax steers Avril over to a room)  
  
[Scene-Inside Van)  
  
(Ashton is sitting beside Jip and Jane in a van with camera's on it)  
  
Jane: Are you sure Avril wants us to do this?  
  
Ashton: Hell yeah! Nothing would please her more if her favorite fans came to crash a interview!  
  
Jip: What are these for?  
  
(Jip chong looks inside the hat and notices a camera inside)  
  
Ashton: That's uh, that's just a accessory. You know something to keep your head cool. Yeah, that's it, like a fan.  
  
Jip: Ooohh.  
  
(Happily puts on the hat)  
  
Jip: Hey look! I'm on tv!  
  
(Points towards one of the tvs)  
  
Ashton: Okay have fun!  
  
(Pushes them out of the fan)  
  
Ashton: And whatever you do don't tell Avril.  
  
Jane: Not even after?  
  
Ashton: Not even after.  
  
(Closes the van door and speeds away)  
  
Jip: Ready to go?  
  
Jane: Yeah!  
  
(Lock arms and sings "Complicated" heading towards the cafe)  
  
[Scene-Entertainment Weekly]  
  
Host: From what I've heard a lot of the "troubled" youth so to speak have been calling you a liar and a trend. What do you have to say about that?  
  
Avril: I think it's because they don't understand the music and my style is just me. I'm not going to change that just because they say so.  
  
Host: And about the lying? They also say you listen to Britney Spears, sucks in real life singing, and just three years ago wanted to be a country music artist. What do you have to say about that?  
  
Avril: Me? Honestly guys, you have to come up with something better than that! I listen to 12 Stones not Britney spears, I can sing, and three years ago I wanted to just be me. Sorry guys.  
  
Host: And what about the lesbian lovechild and the Korean boy?  
  
(Suddenly Jip Chong and Jane burst through)  
  
Jane: We're here!  
  
Host: You're Jip Cong and Jane?  
  
Jip: One and only!  
  
Jane: Right Avril?  
  
(Avril glares over at them)  
  
Host: So I suppose you're the lesbian?  
  
Jane: If that means I'm the BIGGEST fan of Avril! Last night, we played DRESSUP!  
  
Host: Dressup. Interesting, what do you mean by that?  
  
Jane: We changed and wore each others clothes.  
  
Host: All night?  
  
Jane: All night!  
  
Jip: And I washed them afterwards!  
  
Host: Interesting... Well, you heard it here yourself. EW.  
  
(Cameras turn off and Avril runs from the room to Dax)  
  
Avril: They ruined the interview! They made me look like a lesbian!  
  
Dax: Are you?  
  
Avril: No!  
  
Dax: Just checking.  
  
(Jip and Jane walk burst throug the door)  
  
Jip: Avril you did great I loved it!  
  
Jane: Especially the part when I asked you 'right Avril' and you were all like this-  
  
(Puts on a face like Avril)  
  
Jane: Great acting!  
  
Avril: I WANT THEM GONE!  
  
(Runs out of the cafe)  
  
Dax: Avril's just going to use the bathroom.  
  
Jip: Down the street?  
  
Dax: Down the street. Come on.  
  
(He ushers them in towards the celebrities)  
  
[Scene-Van]  
  
Ashton: We just PUNK'D Avril's wiry ass AGAIN! Yeah baby! But this is nothing compared to what we're gonna do next. 


	4. ProAvril

Bonus Chapter  
  
This is dedicated to you Pro-Avril who ironically didn't have the balls to leave her real username and kept it anonymous.  
  
People! It feels so good to burned! Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing the new and improved, you know who  
  
Never been the type to just let things go  
  
Wrong bitch to mess  
  
Just let it off your chest  
  
I hate the fake bitch, you're trick  
  
With a mock dick  
  
Let's see what you get  
  
All these people just don't get the point of a parody  
  
I'm back now, so I can tell you lyrically  
  
Get my two cents and let you just walk your own way  
  
Can't-stand-it-bitch?  
  
Don't try to post when you don't KNOOOWW!  
  
I wasn't even messin with you  
  
But now singled you on out,  
  
for laughs and hate too  
  
So post again as I would do,  
  
say Yay Pro Avril!  
  
For Next lame idol  
  
aw-a-aw-sh-a-w  
  
C'mon now! What you scared now? let's all get on down You have your word I'll have mine Don't be scared, you know what you messin with You can post now, Don't be scared of me  
  
I don't want to post the rest of the song it got to graphic but, don't FLAME if we TELL you WHAT we were GOING to WRITE ABOUT. How dumb can you be? Obviously we were gonna make fun of the little dip shit.  
  
There she blows! 


End file.
